Women Taking Care of Other Women by @blvcklae

"It is important for a woman to take care of other women in her life because those relationships shape her views on creating social connections with other women."

Generally, women tend to have a set group of reliable friends they can count on in any event, whether it’s a catastrophe or “congratulations” on the other end of a phone call. As a woman, I heavily rely on my girls whenever I find myself in a time of emotional need. I know if something goes wrong, they are there for me to lean on. If something goes right, I can count on them to help me celebrate the right way. They encourage me and I support them in the same ways they support me. When a core group of friends like that is formed, it can become one of the strongest resources for a woman. I’ll explain later.

In August of 2016, I moved back to my hometown (Charlotte, NC of course) after living and going to college in Greensboro for a few years. I left behind my sister, my two best friends and many others. We lived with and near each other for years, shared ups and downs and had so many fun experiences to look back on. We shared emotional moments that defined our bond and solidified our trust between women. I didn’t realize how losing them would affect me when I made my decision to move back to Charlotte, but I’m glad I made that choice.

It wasn’t easy for me to re-adapt to the social landscape back in Charlotte; most of my friends from high school moved out of town or we drifted apart when we went off to college. When I wanted to go out in Charlotte, I went alone sometimes. To shows, out to eat, to the movies, and so on. At each of those outings, I wished I was sharing the experience with my girlfriends. I realized I was missing an irreplaceable part of myself. The absence of such important people gave me a chance to experience so much on my own and allowed me to examine how I fit into the social climate. It was an individual thing now, and I didn’t have my girls in proximity to provide that extra boost of encouragement. Over time, I grew in my own right, and began to appreciate the different ways that my girls have contributed to my growth. The women mentioned above are amazing, and they’ve taken great care of me.

Having an amazing bond with them has shown me how positive I am about building professional and personal relationships with women. When I realized I had such a strong relationship with my sister, a long-time friend from high school and another long-time friend from college, I compared it to the other strong bonds I have with women in my life: my mother, grandmother, great aunts, friends, and other great women I’ve been acquainted with. I’m very selective of my connections, so I don’t find any of the women I associate with to be negative or vindictive. That trust and discernment allows me to build other bonds with women and gives me a more positive outlook than some women have.

It is important for a woman to take care of other women in her life because those relationships shape her views on creating social connections with other women. Influenced positively or negatively, a woman’s views on new relationships rely on her past experiences. It’s not difficult to conclude that the past can influence the future, and healthy bonds lay the foundation for more to develop in the future. This leads to women supporting women on a grand scale by patronizing their businesses, celebrating their educational goals and supporting their romantic endeavors. That continuous support is what bonds women together and leads to a stronger connection within the majority.

Unfortunately, the absence of those bonds with other women can lead to mistrust and social anxiety related to meeting and connecting with other women. It can be crippling, and ultimately result in a feeling of emptiness when it comes to basic friendship between women. Every woman should have other women she can look to for support, encouragement and understanding. The consequences of being without can also cause isolation.

My girls took care of me, I took care of them. I’ve become so committed to witnessing, supporting and contributing to their growth since meeting them, and I certainly wish other women could share that sentiment.

To my special ladies, Tyrah, Symone, Meristi, Essie, Morgan and all y’all, thank you for what you’ve given me.